Review: Bunnyman

Called The Bunnyman Massacre on DVD that I was dumb enough to buy, this was a blind buy that didn’t turn out as well a lot of the recent films I’ve seen. This film started out by annoying me and it never improved after that. It is poorly written and directed by the same man who it turns out is also the Bunnyman Carl Lindbergh.

Six dumb asses are in a car driving somewhere that’s never stated from somewhere else that’s never mentioned. They overtake an ugly ancient truck and the driver honks at them and overtakes them. He lets them pass him again then he starts smacking into their rear bumper. They don’t know what to do since clearly jamming on the accelerator and leaving the truck eating their dust is never even considered as an option. Instead they pull over and so does he, right behind them. Every time he revs his engine they crap themselves and do nothing. For hours.

Eventually the truck pisses off down the road and they wonder what to do before heading off in the same direction the truck went in. Down the road the truck is stopped halfway across the road forcing them to swerve to avoid it and go off the road and stopping. They sit in the car and bicker and do even more nothing at all and the truck drives off down the road

Bunnyman stops and gets out of the truck to take a girl out of the back of the truck do a stupid rip-off of one of the death scenes from The Hitcher, right down to actually not showing you death but cutting straight to the corpse afterwards. Then he drives back to the dumb asses. One dumb ass has got out of the car and looked at the engine. He finds some tools among the trash in the trunk and gets under the front of the car to try to fix it.  Bunnyman arrives and smacks the truck into back the car twice and leaves again. The dumb asses in the car freak out then slowly realise one dumb ass was under the car. They get and discover that he’s dead and we see a little bit of gore on the ground so we have to take their word for it.

The dumb asses go for walk up the road until they get to a road that is lined with white crosses (upside down apparently) and still keep going when they find bags of human bones hanging from trees. They come to shack which has some ugly local leering at the women. They impatiently asks for his help or a phone and he rudely tells them no. They try asking nicely and offering money but he still refuses to help. Eventually after wasting even more of our time he chases them away with a shotgun. Next they are wandering through lost through the woods and they start bickering and one woman treks off in huff. This a waste of more time since in the next scene she back with them again.

That night some woman we’ve never met is putting a body into the back of her truck. She then goes and speaks with her brother in the front of the truck who has injured his hand and then she sees the dumb asses coming towards them along the road. She tells them that she has to get her brother to hospital and will be back in 20 minutes. They try to convince to take at least one of them but she refuses and starts getting angry. Then she tells them to go wait in a shack she knows and gives them directions and promises she’ll be back in 20 minutes.

Next morning they all wake up at the side of the road. They agree to start heading for the shack where the lady that they made angry told them to go to wait for her. Then one of the women hears the sound of a mobile phone so she goes to look for it and one of the guys follows her. She finds Bunnyman sitting with dead bodies around him playing with some fake brain. The dumb ass guy following her startles her as a joke and Bunnyman spots them. He kills the woman by spraying blood all over her with a chainsaw – horrific injury once more only implied not but not shown. The guy runs like hell calling to his friends as he flees right past them, telling them to get running too.

The dumb asses get to the cabin and it turns out to Bunnyman’s place and now we’ve got a rip-off of every backwoods torture slasher film going but we don’t see the deaths on-screen they are just implied with blood. There’s a terrible rape scene with Bunnyman’s pet hunchback dry humping one of the women but it’s as unconvincing as the death scenes.

The actors were not terrible but they were very poorly written in a poorly written film. The plot is driven by one stupid choice after another by the characters and I only finished this film to see how bad it could get. It might have been an attempt at comedy but it just wasn’t funny. It is not entertainingly bad, just annoyingly bad. I recommend avoiding this one or making people you hate watch it

Rating 1/10

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