Tag Archives: Ross Noble

Review: Stitches

DVD Review

Stitches DVD 001I had heard that stand-up comedian Ross Noble was appearing in a horror film as a killer clown and I knew it was a film I would have to see. This low budget Irish film really won’t get any points for originality but I think it made up for that with a twisted sense of humour and some imaginative kills. If you are in the mood for another story of a vengeful dead person coming back to kill a bunch of high school kids at least the actors in this film look a lot more like real high school students. I know it’s a low budget and the acting isn’t brilliant but I liked it and think Ross Noble was pretty creepy as the dead killer clown.

Stitches (Ross Noble) is having sex his girlfriend when he remembers he’s been booked to entertain the kids at a birthday party. His pathetic efforts at the usual party tricks like juggling, magic and making balloon animals are greeted with ridicule by the kids. One kid Vinny sneaks behind him and ties his shoelaces together then when Tommy, the birthday boy, tosses a ball at Stitches he is startled and falls backward over his big clown shoes. He lands face down on the open dishwasher where we saw Tommy’s mother put a large kitchen knife earlier. The kids go to see what happened and slowly Stitches pulls himself up to reveal the knife has gone into his left eye and out the back of his head. This is when most of the kids run off screaming leaving Tommy alone with Stitches who pulls out the knife and releases a fountain of blood that completely covers Tommy. He goes to attack Tommy with the knife but slips in the blood and falls backwards throwing the knife up in the air which comes down right back into his eye, killing him in a way that has as much slapstick as it has horror.

The night after the funeral for Stitches Tommy is up in his tree house looking at the clown’s grave and he sees a very creepy procession of clowns. He heads down and follows into a strange clown temple with a statue of a clown and shelves full of the eggs of dead clowns and sees a strange ritual performed for Stitches’ egg which is painted with likeness of his make-up and is apparently is something all clowns must do. Tommy gets spotted by the clown leading the ritual who gives him some nightmare fuel by telling him that the spirit of a clown killed before his performance is finished can never rest and jokes are never funny the second time around.

Tommy goes to bed and wakes up six years later as Tommy Knight who I last saw in the Dr Who spin-off series The Sara Jane Chronicles with the late Elizabeth Sladen. He gets dressed for school and goes down to breakfast. Tom complains about his mother not being around for his birthday which also means the anniversary of the death of Stitches which Tom still has nightmares about. His mother suggests he invites a friend round.

At school he asks Vinny (Shane Murray Corcoran) if he can come over on his birthday to keep him company and Vinny realises this a perfect situation for a party since Tom’s mother will be away. His other mates Richie (Eoghan McQuinn) and Bulger (Thommas Kane Byrnes) just hear the word party and before the end of the day Tom is talked into it. One reason he agrees is he has a crush on another classmate Kate (Gemma-Leah Devereux). Tom makes invitations and gives them out next day and Vinny sticks up a notice about the party on as an event on Facebook. This mean everyone in the school hears about it including the unpleasant bully Sarah (Roisin Barron) and her idiot boyfriend Paul (Hugh Mulhern). Of course lots of other people are coming too but important for this film all the kids at the party when Stitches died are going to be there.

Tom is clearly getting worried about Stitches and he has a disturbing daydream in class where the teacher is wearing clown make-up and he rips off Vinny’s genitals and holds them up to the class before kissing them! Naturally Tom doesn’t tell anyone about this but he’s on some pills that I think are supposed to treat his nightmares.

The party is very successful and is in full swing when there’s an unwelcome guest in a clown suit. Fortunately it is just Paul who came dressed as a clown with Sarah to freak out Tom. This works better than he hoped because Tom accidentally ate a lot of dope in a cookie Richie made. Of course the real Stitches is on his way intent on avenging his death.

I quite liked this film and I think it’s because I liked its sense of humour. Ross Noble is pretty good as the cynical kid-hating Stitches and he manages to be funny and creepy. The story is very clichéd and the inexperience of the young cast is obvious but it was never too intolerable. The kills really seem to have gotten a lot of the budget and as a result are pretty good, making use of the clown theme in different gruesome ways. If you want a fun silly slasher film then I think you might enjoy this film.

Rating 6.5/10

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Posted by on March 24, 2013 in Entertainment, Film


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