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Review: Creep Van

15 Aug

 

I found this in the bargain DVD section of the local supermarket. I thought it was going to be a killer van plot sort of like Christine but it is actually a B-Movie horror about a serial killer who uses his van to kill. It features several inventive kill scenes, padded out with scenes of varying relevance that barely make a plot.

There a serial killing Creep (Mike Butler) who owns an old van that he has modified to be as lethal as he can make it and he uses it to kill people. At the start of the film, after the van has been denied the chance to slaughter a small child, it kills a couple of teenage car thieves, slicing one in half in its window then chasing and leaping onto the second one, crushing him flat. There are nice practical effects in use in these death scenes which is something that runs through the whole film.

Campbell Jackson (Brian Kolodziej) has a really crap job working at a car valeting company and he is sick of not having a car and having travel to work by bus. He’s sure it’s getting in the way of his love life. He is also forced to stay with a friend because he can’t afford his own place. Since his friend Bob (Justin Kolodziej) is into kinky sex with his girlfriend Danni (Veronica Adkinson) who walks around topless insulting Campbell all the time it is difficult to bring anyone back to his place.

At work a wealthy hippy customer Swami Ted (Collin Bernsen) leaves a bag behind and Campbell sticks it into the lost property. Two stoners who work there too nick the bag and find it’s full of top quality marijuana. Naturally Swami Ted really wants his bag back and he calls Amy (Amy Wehrell) at the office giving her shit so Amy wants Campbell to find out what happened to the bag. Amy and Campbell like each other so I guess she’s the love interest.

What about the Creep and his van? After killing a biker he leaves it in the street with a “For Sale” sign. Campbell spots it and takes a note of the number and calls, leaving a message. He tries calling again later but all he gets is the dying screams of a woman who also spotted the “For Sale” and who is getting sliced open with a seatbelt so he decides to just leave it. Unfortunately for Campbell the Creep has plans for him.

This film is very mixed and is full of bizarre unlikely characters like domineering Danni and her naked breasts and Kaufmann the garage boss who insists on having an embarrassing talk with Campbell about a new improved version of Viagra. Lloyd Kaufman one of the founders of Troma Entertainment has a cameo as an annoying customer for some reason. It introduces characters only to brutally kill them off a few minutes later. I’m not sure if there was a script because sometimes there are small scenes that seem reasonably well-acted then others than seem to be rambling amateur improvisation. This film is really all about the van and the kills and what could be called a plot was just padding around the kill scenes. I know this all sounds negative but I kind of liked it because it was cheesy but the kill scenes are well done. If you like B-Movie horror like Hatchet you’ll probably like this film.

Rating 6/10

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Posted by on August 15, 2012 in Entertainment, Film

 

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